Real Life Waiter Nightmares

A couple weeks ago, my restaurant completely revamped the menu. Completely. Portions were changed, prices were changed, items were added, items were deleted, things were moved all over the place. We've been prepping for this for awhile, talking about changes in pre-shift meetings, but nothing could have prepared me for it.

The very first day of the menu change, I showed up to work for a 6 PM shift where I hit the ground running taking tables. Didn't get to see the new menu at all. I also didn't get to discover that we had gotten new specials as well until I was greeting my first table of the night.

I looked like an idiot.

TABLE: Could I get the salmon with mashed potatoes instead of the roasted potatoes?
ME: The salmon comes with potatoes? Um... SURE!
TABLE: Do you have any specials tonight?
ME: Yes. They're on that little menu to your left.
TABLE: Are they good?
ME: Usually! I really don't know what they are. I walked in five minutes before you did and they just changed them without warning. Sorry!

Obviously, I've adjusted to the changes now, but I still catch myself sometimes about to do my old schpiel (how would you spell that?) or ask someone if they want a half or full size (we got rid of that).

But once again...this was an element to my usual nightmares come true. You show up to work, and the entire menu has changed.

Disneyland!!!!

Reason #592 for Loving L.A. = Proximity to Disneyland!!

See. It's all pink and stuff...because this post is about Disney. That makes design sense, right?

Life partner and I had a great couple of days this week because his sister and brother-in-law came to visit. Besides the fact that I love them both and it was great to see them, I also really enjoy playing tour guide when people come Los Angeles. What a perfect excuse to tell my restaurant that I need the weekend off... to go to Disneyland.

Disney was fun, but crowded. Considering it was a Friday in August, however, it wasn't too bad. I always think that some people get a lot more out of Disney than I do. No, I know that some people get A LOT more out of it. I always enjoy going, but it does not fill me with joy and contentment the way other places do.
(btw, that link is to one of my favorite bloggers)

However, when we went to the L.A. zoo and the Griffith Observatory the following day, I realized that I enjoy the zoo and park even more than animatronic rides. I mean, we have an annual pass to the zoo that costs less for two people than a single ticket to Disney. Plus free guest passes. And the observatory is free! And it's all less than a few miles from our place.

Image via Wikipedia

I really love this neighborhood. Last night at midnight, I got home from work and was hungry but didn't want to try to cook while our visitors were over. No problem! Why? There's a Thai restaurant around the block from us that's open super late and does take out. Did I mention that we live next to the best Thai food in the city? No? Well, now I am.


Of course, I always have to remind myself of Disney history like this... 
and that's why I like the zoo.

P.S. You should follow those links. You will be rewarded with cuteness.

I'm a Dreamer

Reason #5,498 for Loving L.A. = CONCERTS!


I'm going to see K'NAAN at the House of Blues on Wednesday and I am so incredibly psyched for it.

UPDATE: The concert was awesome.  Bruno Mars opened, and I didn't even realize that I already knew some of his music, too. My only disappointment was that K'NAAN didn't do "Dreamer," but hearing T.I.A. was SO AMAZING.

Server Nightmares

Have you ever heard of the play, "The Actor's Nightmare"? It's inspired by a typical nightmare that actors have where they're thrust upon a stage and can't remember their lines or don't even know what play they're doing.

I've never had that dream before.

However, I've had more than my fair share of waiter nightmares. Man...they are the WORST. I wake up in cold sweats, in a panic, and utterly exhausted. I don't know if this happens to people in other professions, but at least among my co-workers, it's pretty common.

My typical waiter nightmare usually involves the restaurant being in some bizarre location...in a mall or a 5 story building or a football field or a supermarket. And I have tables in locations that are impossibly far apart. Plus, I have a million tables and each of those tables has some kind of special request. And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS... the computers are down.

A couple weeks ago, I had that nightmare become a reality. First, I started taking tables early (and didn't get to take a break) because it was really busy. Pretty soon, I had 3 tables on the patio and 4 inside and they were all pretty needy... and then... wait for it...

THE COMPUTERS CRASHED.

For a good solid 30 minutes, I had to hand run every drink and food order to the bar and kitchen. I had to hand write receipts and add up the totals and calculate tax. I had to get manual imprints of credit cards.

I came very, VERY close to murdering someone.

Luckily, my managers stepped in and were able to help at least a little bit and I explained to my guests what was going on so they would understand why I was sucking it up so bad. By the time the computers were back up and running, my tables outside had finished up and things were going much more smoothly. But it was still a very long, very busy night, and by the time it was all over with, I was ready to collapse.

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• Work-related dreams often represent unfinished business (thestar.com)

I read this article. I think it's bullshit. It starts off with a waiter nightmare, but you know what? All waiters have those. It's because our job kind of sucks. But I wouldn't trade it for being a desk jockey in a million years.